Birthday Celebration!

It has been months since my last update. Not to say that I was busy because the truth is I was not that busy. I just couldn’t express my feelings into words. As usual it was the writer’s block again.

For those who already know, I’ve just reached my "golden age" (uhuh) last November. My family and friends had been so wonderful in surprising me with gifts and so-called birthday parties.

At noon of 27th November, my colleagues had been so nice to treat me lunch at a Nyonya Restaurant in PJ. They even bought me a bag and a blueberry cheesecake. The cake lasted for a week in the fridge. LOL. But I love cheesecakes!

blueberry cheesecake

bag from my colleagues

a small bouquet of carnations

In the evening, my lovely sisters suprised me with a small party at home. They decorated the apartment with tons of balloons and they bought me chocolate cheesecake and junk-food. Can you believe that, 2 cheesecakes in one day! I’m so gonna gain weight! LOL.

chocolate cheesecake

Later that week, my good friends Ckin and Sue organized a small get-together in Mid Valley. Despite the horrible jam at Mid Valley, we managed to reach there and had our late lunch in Kenny Rogers. Both of them had been so wonderful in buying me lunch and presents as well. Thanks girls! You girls are the best. Can't wait for our vogue day-out next month. *wink*

My favorite chocolate - Ferrero Rocher from Sue

Lovely earings from Ckin :)

With my wonderful vogue friends. ;)

This year’s birthday celebration had been the wonderful one ever! Thanks to all my family and friends for the gifts, the parties and the wishes too. I really appreciate it.

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining

Often men can pretend that everything is okay when the truth was the opposite. Even after a big argument when the wrong was done by the opposite sex, most men can easily let it go and move on and pretend that the argument never even took place.

I can never do that. And I can never understand this.

I’m an emotionally person. I care for everything that had happen in my life. Though, I am not a drama queen. Yes I do care about stuff that involved my feeling. I’m concern about my loved ones. I tried my best not to hurt those I love and I want to make them happy. But I won’t exaggerate on things that were not supposed to be in the picture. I prefer to be subtle.

People often think that their problem was the worst that can ever happen to a human being in this entire universe. It is natural. Sometimes, they can be very expressive too. It is up to them to tell the whole world about their woes although it was not a big thing. It is indeed their problems. But sometimes, the stories had become worst and worst each and every time they tell their problems. We often categorize these people as “Drama Queens”.

For me it is normal to be drama queen at least once in your lifetime. I was once. Yes, when I was in primary school. I’ve made the whole deal about life was totally about me. Yeah me! a vain drama queen. *grin*

As time passes by, I have grew more matured and wiser. Since then, I have realized that life does not involved just around me. It involves everyone we know. And now, I am a drama queen no no!

Although I thought people will changed as they grew older and not being a drama queen anymore, but I still come across with several real life drama queen in their adulthood. Yes it is true.

In my opinion, it is normal for people to think about themselves. Whining and complaining about how life has been such a disappointment to them. That is normal. It is their life! It’s up to them to complain about it. But, let me put it this way, every time we have problems, try to think about others who have bigger problems compared to ours.

Here we are whining about how sucks our life is, how unlucky we are to having those difficulties, but somewhere out there, there are still unlucky people whose problems are way huge than what we are facing.

A friend told me that God knows how strong and tough we are. God knows that we can handle the problems lies ahead of us. We can turn to the Almighty. InsyaAllah, we will be able to manage the problems. God will lead us the way.

Have faith! Every cloud has a silver lining. ;)

Photos

Welcome to the family - Mohd Qayyum bin Mohd Elzekry. My lovely nephew.

Isn't he cute. Gumooookk sangat. hehehehe.

*****************

Btw, I've got an invitation to watch Casino Royale tonight. Well actually my sister got the invitation through the company she worked at. So she invited me. And I am soo gonna go.

CRV! CRV! CRV!

These past few days has made me forget the problems that I’ve been facing. I’ve been busy not so much with work, but mostly with my social activities. Thank God for Hari Raya, a full month of celebration.

I’ve been invited to few, let me rephrase, TONS of open houses. Yeah! My weekends are full of open house invitations. Excluding few invitations from clients and business partners where they organized a Hari Raya “open office” during weekdays.

I’m so gonna put some weight! Well I did! I’ve gain 0.7kg a week of spending Raya in JB. But I managed to reduce 0.5kg. Another 0.2 kg to go! *big grin*

At the moment, I’m looking for a house. I’m thinking of moving. Well it is either moving house or changing my car. Probably changing my car, or both? Maybe! I haven’t really decided on that yet. But my instinct asked me to change my car. 80%.

I’m thinking of Honda CRV. A second hand CRV definitely. I can’t afford a new CRV. Damn expensive! There’s actually an incident during raya which made me want to change my lovely satria.

It was the second day of raya, my siblings and I was visiting my aunt’s in Batu Pahat, Johore. She was excited to see us. She prepared loads of food and forcing us to eat. After stuffing ourselves with some festive food, as usual my aunt threw questions at us, especially at me, on how’s your work, what do u do now, where’s your boyfriend, when are you getting married, u know that kind of thing. And my aunt asked “Ita (my family nickname) pakai kereta apa sekarang? Dah tukar ke atau pakai satria lagi?”.

“Eh takda lah auntie, Ita pakai satria lagi” I replied.

“Laa patutnya sekarang dah tukar kereta baru, at least pakai wira ke. Eh Makcik Ida dah tukar Honda City tau” She continued.

Aduhh.. I wasn't sure whether she was being cynical or it was merely a conversation. But what I know was, my face were red hot. “Nantilah auntie, Ita memang ingat nak tukar pun. Tengok lah nanti my next car will be Honda kot” I lied with a huge grin on my face.

I need to make "the lie" to "the truth", and therefore my new resolution is changing to a new car, which is Honda CRV. I hope! It’s either Civic or CRV. We’ll see. Ntah2 I buy a house. You’ll never know. *wink*

My Celebrity Look-alikes

I found this cool website. You've got to know which celebrities you resembles the most. Cool.

Here's mine. Dammit.. Do I look like Heath Ledger? *Big Laugh*

Bila Harus Memilih

Dulu, Kau Pernah Berjanji Pada Diriku

Untuk Menjaga Dan Menyayangiku

Itu Bererti

Sampai Akhirnya

Kau Meninggalkanku

Kini, Kau Ingin Kembali Pada Hatiku

Setelah Kau Pergi Meninggalkanku

Haruskah Hati

Memberi Kesempatan Dirimu

Chorus

Haruskah Aku Percaya

Segala Yang Kau Ucapkan

Kata Kata Maafmu,

Kata Kata Memohon

Untuk Kembali Kepadaku

Meski Cintaku Padamu

Lebih Dari Yang Kau Tahu

Namun Mengerti Kasih

Tak Semudahnya Itu

Melupakan Yang Telah Kau Lakukan Padaku

Beri Aku Waktu

Untuk Memikirkan Yang Terbaik

Cinta Jadi Dilema

Pergi Ataupun Kembali

Difficult Choice

It is very hard to move on with your life when the past is still haunting every part of you. But sometimes we need to ignore and let go of the haunting past and take a fresh start to continue the journey. Despite all the energy and time that you have put in or in my case, let just say it is wasted now, you need to put yourself together, think straight, continue your steps and never look back.

I'm focusing myself in letting go of the dark past and look ahead to a fresh start. I find it very hard. It is excruciating! The past is still lingering in my mind and toying with my fragile heart, not wanting me to let it go.

I am still holding on.

I am trying my very best to save the energy to push myself up again. Trying to forget the unbearable pain and to mend the broken heart is rather complicated.

But I am fortunate enough to have a good friend who has been supporting me all this while. And who manage to wake me up from this nightmare which I have been trying hard and put in a lot of efforts to turn it into a sweet dream. Indeed painful. How I wish it will turn out good. It is possible! I know it is! Deep down in my heart, I believed that people will change. But it takes times.

I have been wonderfully patience, understanding and devoted with a lot of love. But some people just can’t see the good thing that you have done. They do not know how to appreciate it. And even if they know, they just don’t acknowledge you and didn't even give at least a little affection that you have been wanting so much.

Sigh.

I do not think I can take the agony any longer. The agony of waiting.

I really hope I can continue with my life. I know I can do it, but it will be a difficult and indeed a thorny path for me. I just need to have more patience. I know I can! I just need to forget the tormenting past.

Sigh.

Ya Allah, please give me strength and patience to carry on!

To shikin, thank you for waking me up.

To my dear friends, I would like to wish you all Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir Batin. Have a wonderful Hari Raya!

Horribly wrong

I'm not myself today. I'm exhausted, sad and devastated. Everything just fall apart.

I did a horrible thing and I guess I must pay for it. I feel really bad about it. My mind seemed not working at the moment. I could not think the consequences of my wrongdoing at that time. I just follow my stupid guts and did it. It is wrong. Yes I know. And I guess I will be getting my punishments soon.

I am scared. Really2 scared. I want to cry by I couldn't. My tears seemed to dried off suddenly.

Ya Allah, please give me strength to make it through this moment.

Amin.

Being busy

The amount of work I’m getting is increasing each and everyday. My superior seemed to know that my team and I were very free at the moment. So she decided to drag us in a pilot project for Ministry which the company is working on. My eyes are getting tired of staring at the system every minute.

It’s 7.53 pm and I am still at the office trying to familiarize myself with the system. Lucky enough, I’ve got a call from my boyfriend just now. At last! I can take my eyes away from the system for a while.

It is weird to see him calling me at this hour. He said he misses me. I’m a bit suspicious. Lately, he seemed to shower me with a lot of attention. I wonder what he is up to now. I really hope it is about our anniversary this weekend. He told me he has a surprise for me. That is not good. Every time he gave surprises it will end up horribly. Darn. I hope not.

Well, I’m going to Ipoh to celebrate our anniversary together. Let see how the surprise ends.

By the way, I will be quite busy this couple of days with the pilot project and also the company is sending me to a Public Relation course on 21-22 September. Therefore I won’t be able to update my blog more frequently.

Ramadhan is around the corner and thank God I have already replaced all my last years’ “puasa” debts. :) I do hope my girl friends too had done so. You better girls!

Lastly, I would like to wish to all my friends and to all Muslims, “Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al Mubarak” and Happy Fasting!

Back from Siem Reap

Damn my ulcer is killing me. I have 4 huge ulcers in my mouth. I can hardly speak nor do I can eat proper food. I had chicken porridge for lunch just now. It was the only meal I can eat. Urrghh! How I hate ulcers!

This is all because of my trip to Cambodia. Although the internet was telling me that it should be raining most of the days in Cambodia but it turned out that the weather there was rather hot. I was dehydrated due to the lack of water intake and the excessive heat. I’ve drank 3 small bottles of mineral water everyday. But I guess it is still wasn’t enough to keep me from dehydrated and getting the ulcers.

Okay, enough about my ulcers. I should write about my trip instead.

My trip to Siem Reap was a 4 days 3 nights trip organized by my company. It's a annual thingy. The journey took about 2 hours and 5 minutes by AirAsia from Kuala Lumpur to Siem Reap. As we expected, the flight was delayed for an hour. We were scheduled to depart at 10.15 am but the flight only arrived in LCC Terminal an hour later.

Upon arrival in Siem Reap, the tour guides took us for lunch first before checking in to the hotel. It’s a no-pork restaurant. I only ate rice with prawns, squids and vegetables only, but I saw my muslim colleagues do take the meat. I'm not confident enough to eat the meat though. Well, we can’t be very fussy about it or we will starve ourselves isn't it? The food was okay for me.

After filling our tummies, the bus sent us straight to check-in at the Angkor Star Hotel. I was in the same room as my boss. We’ve got a triple room, which is really big with a pool view. It was breathtaking.

After refreshing ourselves, we went to the Les Artisan D’Angkor, a handicraft centre where they creates reproduction stone and wood sculpture based on the cultural traditions and icons of Cambodian history. Most of the staff is deaf and mute. The government trained the handicapped people at the Les Artisan Academy and upon graduation they were hired at Les Artisan as the sculptor or painter which they were trained as. It is part of the government mission to help the handicapped person.

Our next stop was Bakheng Hill, to view the sunset and catch the beautiful scenery of Angkor Wat and Siem Reap. It was quite a journey. It took about 15 minutes for us to walk up the Bakheng Hill including climbing up the steep stairs of the Bakheng Temple. Damn it was scary. My knees were trembling. But it was all worth it. The sunset and the scenery were wonderful.

Sunset View from Bakheng Hill

Almost Sunset

The sky was dark and it was drizzling when we went down the hill. We were all sweaty and smelly but it didn't stop us from continuing the walk. We ended our night with a buffet dinner with Aspara dance. The performance was interesting and unique. But it was very hard for me to choose the food though. They served variety of food but most of it was non-halal. I only had rice, sweet sour fish, amok fish (a local Cambodian dish, something like gulai ikan masak lemak), mixed vegetables and local fruits.

My story is getting longer and longer each time I write. I don’t want to bore people so let me summarize my trip and put nice photos instead.

Bayon Temple

The second day was merely visiting the famous Angkor Wat temples, which is one of the seven ancient wonders of the world. After a tiring and interesting half-day visit at the temples, we went out for lunch and heading straight to the hotel to freshen up ourselves before going to a free Cambodian massage. It was a damn good massage. I felt so alive but I do have some bruises from it though.

Angkor Thom Temple

Ta Phrom Temple - Lara Croft Tomb Raider movie set

We went to Tonle Sap Lake by boat on the next day. Overthere, we visited the floating village and market. It took about an hour boat ride around the lake. Later, we went to the shore and had our lunch at a local chinese restaurant. After having our lunch the bus dropped us at the Phsa Market to shop. I bought quite a number of scarves, tops, t-shirts and souvenirs which only caused me about USD10.00 equal to RM36.20. The prices were reasonable but you need a bit of bargaining skills.

On the boat at Tonle Sap Lake

Local kids begging for money

Departure Hall of Siem Reap International Airport

We went back to Kuala Lumpur on Monday morning. What a trip! A fun and interesting one but a bit tiring. Well, it is good to be back in Malaysia again.

Home Sweet Home.

It's All Good

Everything in my life seems to fall on the right path. Everything is smooth and according to my plan. I should feel good and happy about it but yet I still feel unsatisfied.

I am still in search for other options throughout my life either in career wise, financial and my love life too. I want to make things far better than what I have currently. That is normal I guess.

Many things had happened to me for the past few months, both good and bad. I had been promoted, got an increment, got a second increment, been offered a new job which I declined, been hurt by my loved one, dumped my boyfriend, got back together with him, ended up discussing about marriage with him and so on.

It had been few months now with so many ups and downs throughout my life. Whatever it is is has surely make me more mature in living this life. I feel that I have learn a lot from these and it has make me wiser each and every day.

I am proud to say that I am managing my problems more rationally now. No more tantrums or sneaking behind the back any longer. I even feel more confident with myself.

I am confident with my job, confident with the trust my boss given to me, and I am positive with the amount of increment and bonus I have yet to received. I am also happy with my relationship with my close friends and I am even certain that my boyfriend won't dump me for another woman. But sadly I am still not sure about him not lying to me though. Well sometimes I do lie to him too. So let skip that part shall we? :p

Despites all of the mentioned above, such my stable career, I am still looking for another job, more secured job, preferably with a multinational company. I want more challenging assignments and more money off course. That reminds me, I have a job interview this coming Wednesday with an event company. So wish me luck!

I have started to execute my so called "blueprint" for my future. Firstly is buying a house. Currently I am looking around for a good and affordable house, an apartment or condominium to be precise. It is easy for me to manage. Right now I am torn between an apartment in Bukit Jalil and a fully furnished apartment in Puchong which the price is about the same range. I am going to view the apartment tomorrow. So by end of next year, hopefully I will have my own apartment. :)

Secondly is to start my own business. I have business plan in mind, just waiting for the right moment and enough capital in hand. At the moment, I am looking for any business courses to attend to, simply to keep myself well-prepared for the business world. Pray hard!

Love life, even though my boyfriend proposed to me last week, but I am still in doubt. I can't see myself as a wife. I am also scared to live a marriage life and leave what I have now. I do want to get married and have kids of my own, but I am still unsure. I am terrified to be exact. Too many things had happened in my love life. I had been through a lot and thankfully we-my boyfriend and I, managed to sort things out. Actually he managed to gain my trust back, convinced me and make our relationship stronger each day. But I still have doubts, so at the moment, I can only pray and hope for the best.

I really hope I will be able to achieve those things that I mentioned to make my life better. If do so, I definitely will be at ease and feel content.

Btw, I am leaving to Siem Reap, Cambodia this coming weekend. It is a 4 days 3 nights company trip and I am looking forward to it.