Difficult Choice

It is very hard to move on with your life when the past is still haunting every part of you. But sometimes we need to ignore and let go of the haunting past and take a fresh start to continue the journey. Despite all the energy and time that you have put in or in my case, let just say it is wasted now, you need to put yourself together, think straight, continue your steps and never look back.

I'm focusing myself in letting go of the dark past and look ahead to a fresh start. I find it very hard. It is excruciating! The past is still lingering in my mind and toying with my fragile heart, not wanting me to let it go.

I am still holding on.

I am trying my very best to save the energy to push myself up again. Trying to forget the unbearable pain and to mend the broken heart is rather complicated.

But I am fortunate enough to have a good friend who has been supporting me all this while. And who manage to wake me up from this nightmare which I have been trying hard and put in a lot of efforts to turn it into a sweet dream. Indeed painful. How I wish it will turn out good. It is possible! I know it is! Deep down in my heart, I believed that people will change. But it takes times.

I have been wonderfully patience, understanding and devoted with a lot of love. But some people just can’t see the good thing that you have done. They do not know how to appreciate it. And even if they know, they just don’t acknowledge you and didn't even give at least a little affection that you have been wanting so much.

Sigh.

I do not think I can take the agony any longer. The agony of waiting.

I really hope I can continue with my life. I know I can do it, but it will be a difficult and indeed a thorny path for me. I just need to have more patience. I know I can! I just need to forget the tormenting past.

Sigh.

Ya Allah, please give me strength and patience to carry on!

To shikin, thank you for waking me up.

To my dear friends, I would like to wish you all Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir Batin. Have a wonderful Hari Raya!